I wrote this 3 years ago. Kate was about 5 months, and Noah was 2 1/2 years old... anyways, I came across it the other day and thought it was funny enough to post. Hope you find it a little humorous!
o.k... my worst nightmare of being a mom came true this morning. noah runs in my bedroom as says there is a bug in the kitchen. Being the brave mom that I am, I said "Lets wait until your dad gets home, he will get the bug". "o.k.. mommy" So I get my hiney out of bed so I can go get my Dr. Pepper.. I'm no good without one... and to my dismay there is an ALIVE roach on his back RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE REFRIDGERATOR!!!!!!!!! "why God???? Why me???? BEFORE I'M ABLE TO HAVE MY DR. PEPPER???" I think of ways around this nasty thing.. with his skinny little legs kicking and antennas going... nope, cant get the drink without moving that nasty thing. hmmmmmmmmm.... time to bring in reinforcements. I think about paging Dad with the cockroach code.. but seeing how "great" paging him worked out the last time I did it, I figured that's not the best idea. Finally I get out the vacuum. Usually Noah is terrified of this.. but today he thought it was funny.. that's the ONLY thing I had going for me. I hook up the hose and turn it on. I start working myself up with little bugs.. which aren't hard to find in my kitchen (gross, I know...). O.k... i think... that was pretty easy... Then it is time for the ... (BUM, BUM, BUM, BUM....)ROACH...
My hands a shaking.. and noahs laughing. I tried to get noah to suck it up. I tell him it's a "COOL GAME, YOU SHOULD TRY IT" but of course, he did not fall for it. Then i put the hose close to the roach.. crap, it didn't work.. I got closer and finally it makes a horrible sucking up nose... YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I scream, Noah screams, which makes Kate cry. I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SUCKED UP A ROACH... Now, i'm no pro, and i'm not excited I did it, nor do i ever wanna do it again.. BUT I'M OFFICIALLY A MOM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The vaccuum has been running for the past thirty minutes, because I wanna make sure the cockroach stays IN THERE... i'm trying to suck the air out of him. I don't wanna get my vacuum out and see Cocky trying to crawl out.. YUCK!! How long should I run this thing?????? hmmmmmm.....
Things I do, not for my son, but for a DR. PEPPER!!!!!!!
5 comments:
Yes, very funny. I can't even step in the spot where a roach was laying. Yesterday one was crawling in my sink. Screaming and shuddering, I turned on the water and he went to the garbage disposal, which I promptly turned on and kept on for quite a while.
I was thinking as I read along, "but what if it crawls out?" but you got that covered. Too funny!
I, too suck those disgusting things up with the vaccum cleaner. Then, I promptly take my bagless container outside to the garbage can. Thank goodness for the 'push a button' feature on the dirt container! I just turn my head and drop it in. But, I still wonder all day...what if it crawls out of the trash can and comes back inside. Those darn things are haunting! I'm proud of you for conquering this feat...it was obviously memorable if you're posting it 3 years later! :)
You're too much. You wanted to "suck the air out of him". Nice. This is one of the reasons I love you...the measures you'll go to for a dr. pepper! I've had to pick up lots of roaches before...with a paper towel. And I've had to squish them...have you gotten to this level yet? Just wondering.
Lindsay, I just found your blog from Jenny's and I'm so excited to see how you and your cute family are doing! Your kids are so beautiful and you look great:) I love that you left the vacuum on for a while. I probably wouldn't have thought to do that until I saw the thing crawling out of the tube. Ew!
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