Surface S'mores

What better way to bring in a cold front to the Houston area than to make Smores?  So, that's what we decided to do tonight.  I thought I would share our "step-by-step" guide on how to make delicious smores.

Step 1:

Mom picks up Charcoal at the store.  This way it is a surprise to the kids and they have no idea.  Go ahead and forget the lighter this round.  That way you can use an old lighter that barely has any juice in it.  This will give the kids the ability to use their anticipation skills.  Will it light?  Won't it light??  Who knows! 



 Step 2:
Go ahead and let your 2nd grader use the lighter that barely works.  This way he feels like he is doing his share in making that fire for the smores.  It's going so well at this point, why not!?

 Step 3:
When the charcoal itself doesn't light, try burning random stuff (ie paper, old CPA books, sticks (that are wet from the rain.. there's a BRILLIANT idea), grass (again, wet from the rain), napkins, and heck even a birthday candle.. because that should continue to burn until the wax is gone.. right!?  we won't say whose idea that one was... but it wasn't Noah's....)

 Step 4:
Next, let the mom try.  After all, moms can do ANYTHING.. or at least THINK they can do anything.  Mom needs to use anything and everything she can find to burn.

 Step 5:
By this time there should be a tiny spark.  Quick!!!  Grab the marshmellow!!  It might be able to get a little warm!!!!  (see all the orange stuff?  yeah, that's not fire.. those are napkins....).  Sometime during Step 5, you tell the kids you are DONE!  The dad starts cleaning up, and the kids start crying.  They need to beg to keep trying.  Then the parents need to get all soft on the kids and Dad needs to decide to go all over creation (um.. CVS and HEB) to get lighter fluid and an actual lighter that works.  Kids dry their tears and the Dad saves the day.

 Step 6:
Dad comes back with the new lighter and lighter fluid.  What the heck, go ahead and give the 2nd grader the lighter and spray lighter fluid all over the coals.. because that's smart!  Be sure not to tell grandparents about that for fear of getting a lecture...  and grandparents.. be sure to skip reading about that part...  The 2nd grader should be able to make FIRE!!  yipee!!!!

 Step 7:
Quick!!!  Grab the marshmellows.. AGAIN.... and get to roasting!

 Step 8:
You will soon realize that once the lighter fluid burns off there will be no more fire (this happens in less than 20 seconds), to properly obtain this step, be sure to make these in the rain..

 Step 9:
You have now reached the final step.  You are frustrated beyond BELIEF, your kids are frustrated, heck by now, your dogs and neighbors are frustrated.  You give up and go to the trusty microwave.  Put the chocolate on the graham cracker and the marshmellow on top.  Heat for 15 seconds and enjoy! 

****WARNING****  Do not go directly to Step 9.  Microwaved S'mores do not taste nearly as good without doing steps 1-8.